FREEDOM

December 6, 2007

            On December
4^th–

This week was un-forgettable. The Lord has truly spoken to
me in so many ways and has proclaimed major freedom over my life. He really
spoke to me through a man named Jim Bailey. Jim flew here to lead a
discipleship conference for some of us. God used him through that to teach me a
lot of things.

            He spoke on
what a disciple is, and why they are important. How to be effective and life
bringing to people you are disciplining, and even how to make sure you don’t
get stuck in a road block.

            The first
few days-

                        We
learned what means to be a fellow traveler is. The fact that being a disciple
doesn’t mean you are above the disciple or only speaking down and teaching
them. You are a fellow traveler, just walking closer to Christ with them.

            Then we
talked about the character of a discipler that’s bringing life, and the things
that can get in the way in your own life, that will actually hurt the person
you are disciplining rather than help them.

Obstacles of Discipleship

1. Being
   Un-empowered

–        
Not being full of the Holy Spirit

–        
Not having intimate time with Jesus

2. Having
   a shut down heart

–        
Deep fear ( like rejection and failure)

–        
Un- processed past experience

–        
Being overpowered or burnt out

–        
Un- grieved losses

3. Character
   Flaws

                  ~
Your character should radiate Love, Faith, and Purity

~ You don’t want to be:
dishonest, prideful, have a lack of integrity, be disrespectful, flakey, fake,
negative, judgmental.

He then has us pray about all of
these things in our own lives, to ask God what flaw we needed to overcome to be
a more effective discipler.

      I
made a list of the things I struggle with in that area. At first I didn’t want
to write about it, because it could seem pretty personal. But God did something
amazing in me through these struggles- So I decided to share anyways.

Here’s where I started this week:

–        
Negative thoughts

–        
Poor body image

–        
Worry about the future/ if I am following the right
path

–        
I get overwhelmed and anxious easily

–        
I was having trouble feeling and truly believing all of
Gods truth, and believing he really wanted to work through me

–        
When I can’t be somewhere like at home for instance, I
tend to worry about what is going on there etc.

It all came down to the problem
of an underlying fear.

Jim helped me realize that fear
is what was really there. I had never thought of that before.

I always thought the opposite of
fear was trust. But Jim made me realize the opposite is really faith.

FAITH vs. FEAR

This is where God really stepped
in and started to speak to me.

Jim had us then start a walk, we
were told to walk from the church down to the beach where we are living and
then come back up, all with the vow of silence.

God spoke to me about this whole
Fear and faith concept.

My thoughts on that walk…..

~Having faith is believing in
what you cannot see. I have faith in God and that he’s real, and that he is my
savior. But not much faith in the fact that he truly wants to use me, or that I
trust he has plans for me.

~ Through that God said these
things to me…

·       
ABBY, I did not give you a spirit of fear. ( 2
Timothy 1:7 )

·       
Maybe the reason I haven’t shown myself to you
the way you expect me to is because I want you to have faith that I can.

·       
Don’t worry about the future, or the plans that
I have for you. Because I have called you “For such a time as this” like it
says in Esther.

I was just really convicted that
I didn’t have Faith like I should, and satan was lying to me, making me believe
I had to worry about all of these things.

When I got back from the walk Jim
and a few other people prayed over me, and I proclaimed freedom over all these
things. That I was going to have faith and believe the truth rather than lies.
Jim Said he felt God saying that I have the anointing of Moses. He was living
in fear, then was released from it, and ended up leading many other people to
freedom.

This is so awesome, because since
I have gotten to Africa I have really felt
that my calling was to encourage the timid, and fight for freedom in people. To
help them find their identity in Christ and really be free of all the lies they
are told.

I hope I communicated this well.
God is amazing; he has been doing great things in my heart and the hearts of my
team mates.